We have 30 days to go, people. It's crunch time.

Which is to say, I guess, I should be doing more crunches. I'm not sure that that's true, really. My stomach is tighter and less voluminous right now than it's been in at least eight years, and probably ever. But that doesn't mean the screws aren't tightening. I've maintained all along that it's those last few pounds that will cause the most trouble and with us just 30 days left before my stated June 22 deadline, those last few pounds are being tricky.

Depending on the day I'm anywhere from 3.5-7 pounds away from that magical number of 175, and getting much closer has proven extremely tricky. At this point, the lowest I've tipped the scales at is 178.4, a number I thought I might break this morning until I saw otherwise. All that said, I'm not beating myself up over it too much, clearly. As I've noted before, any particular number you see on a scale on any particular day isn't particularly trustworthy.

Still, I am human, am I not? I still crave that irrational satisfaction of seeing months of painstaking, deliberate accomplishment boiled down to one number for half a second if I can balance myself on my shitty scale just right. Considering my doctor told me recently there was no need for me to lose anymore weight for health purposes, this seems to be my raison d'être: To see a digitized number on a piece of plastic my mother bought nearly 10 years ago.

I think I need more things to do with my time.

Ok, that's also a lie. This summer is looking about as busy as can be at the moment, and my sister's wedding next month seemingly would kick it all off, but until then, it's quite apparent I've got a job to do. Like any job, there will be obstacles. This coming Monday is Memorial Day, which means an all-day BBQ of sausages, burgers, hot dogs and barbecued chicken. In the coming weeks after that, I have more than one large dinner I will be attending for one reason or another.

In fact, BBQ season in general is just going to be a stupendous hindrance.

But I also have just 30 days to find some four extra pounds on my body to get rid of. Given my current exercise routine and my current diet, it's kind of hard for me to think of what else I could possibly do beyond putting on my best Siddhartha Gautama impression and giving asceticism a try. I think that might be a bit dramatic, particularly since becoming an ascetic would probably make me so skinny I'd have to buy an entire new wardrobe. Considering there are five more weddings and an international vacation still on my calendar this year, I don't really feel like sparing the money necessary for six pairs of khakis with a 25-inch waist.

So what to do then? Am I all out of options? Have I exhausted my efforts and reached the end of the line? What of my goals? What of setting an aim, enduring the slings and arrows of outrageous gluttony and achieving that aim despite them all? What of 175? Perhaps most importantly, what of the Quesarito?

What can I do that I have not done?

Much like St. Thomas Aquinas, Solomon Maimon and Karl Pilkington, I search for answers hoping to learn what's true. I accept that I am unlikely to find them, but in tandem I can still put my nose to the grindstone and continue to spend an irrational amount of time on the elliptical machine. I will continue to jump in the pool every morning, I will keep up my weight-lifting regimen and I will continue to try and find new ways to make tilapia seem interesting to eat. At this point, so close to the end of the line and yet struggling to pull myself through the final mile of the race, what else can I do?

On the plus side, there was one positive this morning even though I did not reach a new low like I was anticipating. At the outset, I had given myself 210 days to go from 219 pounds to 175. I am close to getting there, but as I ticked away, the amount of days I had been working at it had always been a lower number that popped up on that most irrational of scales.

Yesterday, for the first time, my weight was lower than the number of days I had been trying to lose weight.

Are these numbers connected? Only tangentially. Is this a reasonable or valid barometer on which to measure my success considering its inevitability? No, probably not.

But it's something. And whatever bit of progress I need to encourage me to cross the finish line is just fine. After all, there are only so many strides left to take in the race. I could use the push.

CROWD-SOURCED WEIGHT LOSS PLAN DAY 180!

Days until sister's wedding: 30
Target weight: 175
Starting weight: 219
Weight today: 179.4